The Director in all of us

Once I don't immediately fall asleep, once I hit the bed, my day starts replaying itself in my head. I know this happens to almost everyone... We are bound to reflect on the events of the day from time to time, more so at night when the day is about to end (according to the grand old scheme of time). When the night comes, and my body is at rest and my mind is trying to shift through all the thoughts to get to that nice quiet place where everything goes blank and sleep takes over, that's when the movie begins!

I'm the director, the actor and everyone else in between. I replay the events of the day and I keep finding myself changing them. Changing the circumstances, the scenarios, the scenes. I cut out what I don't like and add in something new. I play each event over and over using different actions and evaluating the consequences. I find myself refining them to the point where I see them as perfect... as how I wish it was or would be. Sometimes I can get lost during all this role play and the disappointment of bringing reality back to the facts is undeniable. This is why I hate doing this.

It's something I've always done...it’s like a part of life. When I catch myself in the directors’ seat, I immediately snap myself back. This also applies to this little philosophy I came up with, that is, once I think about something... fantasize about how I want a scenario to play out in the future, it is then that it's almost sure never to happen. It's almost as if I think I’m jinxing myself. If you picture the perfect scene in your mind, even in its objective imperfection, you create the dialogue, circumstances and reactions... then you know that it will never be. Unless you're beyond psychic. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this properly... it has nothing to do when it comes to positive thinking in setting goals and so on, it's just down to the detailed basics. Think about it. It's after 1 in the morning. I've just done some school work the night before a public holiday and the beginning of a 5 day long weekend for me. I should get some sleep. Happy reading folks...Enjoy the holiday and rest well.