30

So, I'm 30 years old now. When I started blogging, I was just 17.

In the last year of my 20's, I discovered 2 grey hairs! It fascinates me to no end right now. A lot of my younger friends have greys, especially my bf, but for whatever reason, I didn't even think about getting greys myself, but here they are =) and these 2 little grains of grey hairs are adorable!

Extraction nightmare

I went today to get either an extraction done or start a root canal, depending on if the tooth could be saved our not. After removing decay and taking an x-ray it was determined that it was not structurally sound enough for a root canal so I opted to do the extraction. This tooth had a cavity and broke a few times over the last 2 years, leaving the nerves very exposed. I haven't been able to eat on that side of my mouth for months! So today was the day and I took the prophylactic antibiotics needed one hour before as instructed.

So we proceed to do the extraction. I'm given my shots of anaesthetic and then a pain test is done, still there's pain so more anaesthetic is given. The dentist then proceeds her attempt at removing the tooth, but each time she pushed and applied too much pressure, I felt pain. I must have stopped and restarted the attempts about 5 to 7 times - even with more and more Novocaine being injected. I could sense her confusion and frustration, she kept saying that I was mistaking pressure for pain. I told her I deal well with pain and I feel the pressure indeed, but when it got to a certain point, I felt pain - real undeniable pain. I even described it as being sharp and pulling as if from my eye-socket. Eventually the tooth crown itself broke off, leaving the roots. Surgery needed to be done to cut into the gum to get the rest of the tooth out... it was then that they realized something was wrong.

She pinched my nose and asked me to blow. And I did, and I felt the strangest feeling of air escaping but I had no idea from where. She put the process on pause and left the room for a bit, came back and decided to do another x-ray. As it turns out, the root of the tooth, with the pressure and pushing of trying to be extracted, ended up piercing the bone between my jaw and my sinuses! And I now had a connection between them - essentially a free flow of air and liquids from my nose to my tooth. Everyone in the office gathered around to see and the took a picture and sent it to a specialist in the field and after a few phone calls, they rushed me off to a specialist to repair that open sinus connection. 

At this point, I'm bleeding so much, jaw, head and face aching and I'm really shaken up. Thankfully I was not charged at this dentist do to the complications that arose.

My brother, thankfully was with me, and drove me to the specialist who took a pretty awesome 360 degree x-ray. She showed me on the computer where the sinus was breeched. I could not breathe through my nose or speak much since I got excruciating pain whenever air touched the tooth. This specialist doctor was older, much more experienced and had a calming competence about her. Whatever she injected in me to re-numb the area, hurt 10x more than all the injections I had gotten at the dentist before. But whatever it was, it really worked! I did not feel a single thing as they carefully extracted each root. One of the 3 roots was lodged into the sinuses and it was very difficult to find. They cut into my bone and gums and opened up a flap to see inside to remove it. Keeping my jaw open so long was SO painful for me, despite the breaks I took. My BP was high and I kept bleeding a lot, so they had to give me juice. 

Example of a tooth root inside the sinus

After about an hour, the dentist was able to remove all of the tooth, get to the sinuses and sew it back together. I was given 2 sets of stitches - one that would melt, and one I have to get removed later one. Stitching alone took another half hour due to the many incisions and the fact that they had to pull my gums forward and over exposed bone. I still have some bone exposed which is supposed to heal over with time. 

As I'm writing this, I'm still mostly numb. Half my face was practically paralysed before, even my eyelid. I had a smile like two-face. My eye is back to normal now and parts of top of my cheek bone. My nose, lips and rest of the cheek area is still numb. 

• I can only eat soup and soft mushy things for the next week. 
• I'm not allowed to blow through my nose or breathe in too hard. 
• Also cannot spit or suck through my mouth.
• I've to sleep my head elevated for the swelling and ice the area every so often.
• Cannot use straws
• Not allowed to sneeze or cough. If I must sneeze, I have to keep mouth open
• Avoid all 'bearing down' type activities that will build pressure 

I'm on a host of medications now including antibiotics, decongestants and lots of painkillers. I'm supposed to be in a lot of pain when this anaesthesia wears out, so I'm writing this before that happens. I'm missing classes right now and likely for the rest of the week. I'm not allowed to do anything strenuous that would have me breathing too deeply or hard and I cannot really talk comfortably. I'm just sitting here swallowing blood.
So ... that was my adventure for today. I was so scared and so much in pain at the initial extraction attempt that I was shaking. That rarely ever happens. But this explains a lot! A few months ago that same tooth got infected and then abscessed. It was one of the most painful experiences in my life!!! (and this is coming from someone who knows pain very very well and had 2 major surgeries before) Half of my entire face was swollen and in sharp lancing pain. Now I realize it was because the infected tooth was connected to the sinuses which also became infected. Also explains why every time I get tooth pain I wind up with what feels like a migraine on half my face and head. The root was fused with the sinus. Now I know the importance of doing the much more expensive 360degree x-ray rather than the normal cheaper 2d x-ray. With upper roots generally being close to ones sinuses, it's best to take that extra precaution.  

One day when I am working I will be able to re-pay my brother and dad for all that they end up spending on me due to my overly complicated body. Today's bill was literally 7x the amount it was supposed to be and my brother covered it, no questions asked. I am so blessed. I will make up for it, I promise!

Certain

by Yi Shin Chiang

'The thing about getting older, is that you don't need everything to be possible any more, you just need some things to be certain.'

- Brick Lane

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I just had a memory 

As a teenager growing up, I used to hang out with a few close friends. They used to sometimes joke about me being the vain one amongst us because I was always looking at myself in a mirror or glancing at myself in a reflective surface. It used to bother me a little bit but in a sense I sort of just accepted it. Now all these years later I'm putting it in words and saying that this was never from a place of vanity, but rather quite the opposite -- a place of insecurity. I've always been insecure about my appearance and that has never changed... I would like it to change one day. I would love to love myself and be happy. And more than just wanting it, I really believe I'm at the point where I need it