What is it with me and ants??
Of all the creatures in the world, I can't seem to be more grossed out or affected by the little supposedly harmless little thing called - an ant.
I know for a fact I have some sort of allergy or repulsion to the famous 'crazy ants'. The kind that ends up in your sugar bowl, or on any uncovered food left on the table, especially your drink! Once I smell those dreaded creatures... I'll instantly throw up (TMI?)
Well last night I had a really disturbing experience. It was actually around 2am.
I creep into my dark kitchen to take my medication before heading to bed, and there was this 'boly/boli' (however the spelling or whatever the name) ant running around crazily on the table. There I am, moving my glass of water and medicine container so it wouldn't crawl up on it. But that was done in vain, as it did indeed get onto the container. So I bang it on the table, hoping the bloody thing will fall off and leave me alone. But! The ant somehow managed to speed its way UNDER the container as it came crashing down to the table. Squashing the poor thing. Good Lord! You should have seen my face! There it was twisting and doing some odd little agonizing twirls on the table, so I quickly swashed it off onto the floor, hoping it will jump to life and crawl away. All this time I’m muttering all the sorry's in the world and begging the Lord for forgiveness - Like a crazy woman. But it gets worst. The thing just lies there... squirming! I was getting panicky. I couldn't bear to see it suffering. There on the table was an insect killer! I took it up and sprayed the little soul.... and waited.... (all this time my glass of water and pill is in my hand) 10 seconds later I reached breaking point. I felt as if I was going crazy. The ant just WOULD NOT DIE! Had he any idea how much it was suffering me to see him writing in pain like that?! I'm serious! My facial expression was enough to scare myself! I kept on muttering to myself... panicking! I did what I had to do. I took that very same can of insect killer - and...I banged the little thing about 10 times over and over squishing it just praying, please, die! please! ...
And it died.
God that was traumatic. I scared myself the way that disturbed me. I begged God to forgive me, please, and take it's little soul to a better place.
Of all the creatures in the world, I can't seem to be more grossed out or affected by the little supposedly harmless little thing called - an ant.
I know for a fact I have some sort of allergy or repulsion to the famous 'crazy ants'. The kind that ends up in your sugar bowl, or on any uncovered food left on the table, especially your drink! Once I smell those dreaded creatures... I'll instantly throw up (TMI?)
Well last night I had a really disturbing experience. It was actually around 2am.
I creep into my dark kitchen to take my medication before heading to bed, and there was this 'boly/boli' (however the spelling or whatever the name) ant running around crazily on the table. There I am, moving my glass of water and medicine container so it wouldn't crawl up on it. But that was done in vain, as it did indeed get onto the container. So I bang it on the table, hoping the bloody thing will fall off and leave me alone. But! The ant somehow managed to speed its way UNDER the container as it came crashing down to the table. Squashing the poor thing. Good Lord! You should have seen my face! There it was twisting and doing some odd little agonizing twirls on the table, so I quickly swashed it off onto the floor, hoping it will jump to life and crawl away. All this time I’m muttering all the sorry's in the world and begging the Lord for forgiveness - Like a crazy woman. But it gets worst. The thing just lies there... squirming! I was getting panicky. I couldn't bear to see it suffering. There on the table was an insect killer! I took it up and sprayed the little soul.... and waited.... (all this time my glass of water and pill is in my hand) 10 seconds later I reached breaking point. I felt as if I was going crazy. The ant just WOULD NOT DIE! Had he any idea how much it was suffering me to see him writing in pain like that?! I'm serious! My facial expression was enough to scare myself! I kept on muttering to myself... panicking! I did what I had to do. I took that very same can of insect killer - and...I banged the little thing about 10 times over and over squishing it just praying, please, die! please! ...
And it died.
God that was traumatic. I scared myself the way that disturbed me. I begged God to forgive me, please, and take it's little soul to a better place.
6 comments:
It's amazing how one little creature can affect a human being like that. I know exactly what you mean though. I hate to see any living creature suffer, however as much as I want a creature such as an ant to survive, if i am bothered by it, I end up killing it also. It bothers me tremendously afterwards, especically when it's still partially alive and I have to witness it's suffering, totally caused by ME. This was a very interesting post Tanya, I liked it a lot :)
Tunks, you are an extremely talented writer, and I feel what we are seeing here is just the tip of the iceberg. In my opinion, the best writers are the ones who can put on paper a vivid account of what she, the writer, is feeling. In order to do that the writer must be able to take apart her emotions and gives them to the reader in little sentences, just like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The good writers are the ones who make these puzzles not only easy to build, but also exciting to do so. You are one of those rare, but talented puzzle makers.
Hmmm... I find this so amazing aka that you can describe my writing style just now in such a way as I may have seen it myself. I frequently find myself totally intrigued by the smallest of unnotcied detials or experiences. I don't add an entertaining twist to these stories... I narrate it exactly as it played out in my little odd head. hehehe.
I appreciate your comment - Cuz I've personally came face to face with beings who consider my view and appreciation of the little joys of life, as weak and rediculous...something that takes away from my intelligence or credibility.
um - this totally reminds me of my similar experience with a mapipire (sp?) snake!
In a single moment, life's lesson can be so profound.
Indeed!!!
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