0 - 100 in 30 flat

It's the middle of March and I'm blogging for the first time for the year really...
Today, I went to see a new doctor who deals with gut issues.
What I needed most was really a sedative because I left there so incredibly stressed that I broke into tears at a traffic light while driving in a daze. Then my neck started hurting so terribly and before you know it, I've a full blown migraine. All this in the space of 30 minutes.
I am still in awe at how instantaneously my body reacted to the perils of my mind...
Also, I really hate RA. It's killing me

Trauma comes in small doses

He lay sleeping next to me but I couldn't sleep any more...
I woke with a flare
I quietly (or at least I tried) came off the bed to get a prednislone tablet
But then this happened...
I could not open the door. It was not locked or jammed. I just could not grip the knob. Could not turn it. My hands were flared that badly.
I stood there in slight panic, peeking at him as he slept, dying a little inside at the idea of having to wake him to open a door for me ....

Kill the flare, numb the symptoms

A very rare glimps into an actual real time convo about something not abstract for once:

I just paged my doctor

  it felt kinda weird dictating and having someone else type my msg

2:09 PM like... tables turn lol

  "Please call (insert name) at (insert number) Re: Urgent Post-op advice needed"

  that was my msg

2:10 PM If I can predict him he wud say 1. Up my dose of metho from 4 to 5 a week and/or 2. A short course of steroids to reduce the inflammation

  both I would protest to. I wud acquiesce to #1 ... and fight down #2 as much as possible

2:11 PM Steroids WOULD kill these flare symptoms instantly... and I wud feel on top of the world

  but the side effects... :( I made a promise years ago dat I wud NEVER EVER go back on it

2:12 PM I already had countless hydrocorticosteroid shots in d hospital.. but dat was to make sure I survive d surgery. daz life or death...

Why so urgent? Why so worried? - tramadol, acetaminophen and codeine in my system, bed-rest and 4 hrs later... I can now finally go into the kitchen and comfortably reach my cup to my mouth and swallow...

THAT my friends, is not good... not good at all. That's too much pain, too much time and way too much drugs :(

THR vs RA

So this is rare and not very often I would taint my abstract streak to delve into personal matters as such, but here I am... and here it goes...

How do I find the balance?
I'm trying to find the balance between being a good THR patient and a good RA patient. Quite an unorthodox case for rehab the therapist told me... it's always that fine line I keep treading on.

Therapy is awesome! It hurts and it feels good. It gets me so snappy but so happy... wow, ok I didn't mean for that to rhyme, but it did!

I've neglected being a good RA patient in light of the THR rehab... and sadly that can boomerang on me if I don't get a grip on things now.

Thankfully, I got my grip! =)