Dear Ma,
Your brothers are over right now, well 3 of them a.t.m & Adrian. They're playing all fours and uncle Johnny is making a huge pot of soup. It's not too bad right now... Their company is keeping me from missing you too much as yet. In all honesty though, it hasn't hit me yet. I remember you told me not to cry for me when you die and I told you that I will bawl down d place and then die after... and you told me no I won't. Well... I took myself by surprise, cuz I didn't cry. There were hundreds of ppl for the service & cremation... & I didn't cry. I was happy for you. Happy you can leave that body you were suffering in. I need to cry though... & I'm just delaying the inevitable. So far the only person I truly broke down in front off was Rao, your new favorite pseudo son hahahaha... As soon as he walked into the room, in just seconds, w/o saying a word... I started to cry. I'm having a hard time standing any of the other family/ppl around though... Your immediate family is fine & my chosen friends... but everyone else is just a blur or has me on the edge of tripping. But I'm holding it together for now... Please make sure that when I do fall apart, that you're there to keep the pieces from scattering too far & you can help me put it back together again.
Love always,
Your Shugs
PS: I'm sleeping with that Kaftan you came into d hospital with... the one they slit down to take off of you and I told u dat not to worry, u can wear it as a shirt lol ..... We washed it, so don't think I'm that gross. But I'm sleeping with it next to my pillow.
Your brothers are over right now, well 3 of them a.t.m & Adrian. They're playing all fours and uncle Johnny is making a huge pot of soup. It's not too bad right now... Their company is keeping me from missing you too much as yet. In all honesty though, it hasn't hit me yet. I remember you told me not to cry for me when you die and I told you that I will bawl down d place and then die after... and you told me no I won't. Well... I took myself by surprise, cuz I didn't cry. There were hundreds of ppl for the service & cremation... & I didn't cry. I was happy for you. Happy you can leave that body you were suffering in. I need to cry though... & I'm just delaying the inevitable. So far the only person I truly broke down in front off was Rao, your new favorite pseudo son hahahaha... As soon as he walked into the room, in just seconds, w/o saying a word... I started to cry. I'm having a hard time standing any of the other family/ppl around though... Your immediate family is fine & my chosen friends... but everyone else is just a blur or has me on the edge of tripping. But I'm holding it together for now... Please make sure that when I do fall apart, that you're there to keep the pieces from scattering too far & you can help me put it back together again.
Love always,
Your Shugs
PS: I'm sleeping with that Kaftan you came into d hospital with... the one they slit down to take off of you and I told u dat not to worry, u can wear it as a shirt lol ..... We washed it, so don't think I'm that gross. But I'm sleeping with it next to my pillow.
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