Friday, April 08, 2011

Waking like this...

I woke up this morning and conversations started replaying in my head. All sorts of things I wish I never heard
I started remembering my dreams, vaguely, but I was seeing bits and pieces.
The world was in turmoil.. or maybe it had been. Hardly many ppl are left. It's dry, hot, very dusty.
I am afraid, but I am trying to be strong. I go looking for something, somewhere... a place to rest.
I am caught somehow... in a room lined with iron door panels which all move with a suction force inwards, one after the next... as if the air pressure in the room has changed. It has. I am sealed in. Trapped.
I open something and become aware that I am now contaminated. A monitor shows the bacteria/virus spreading onto my skin. Invisible to the naked eye.
A woman laughs. She LAUGHS at me. She has done this.
But I don't believe I will fall ill like all the others who perished before me.
Some part of me knows that I am indestructible.

Back to the conversations in my head now. I woke up sad. Sad that I have lost respect and admiration for someone. Now I'm weary. I woke up and I just feel sick inside... I just want to cry. Need to.... but I can't... not right now.

I just called my doctor and made an appointment for tomorrow. I've waited long enough. I can barely hold on

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