Best of you

I came here to write about something totally different. But as my lappie was starting up and I was getting comfy on bed, the strangest string of thoughts started piecing together in my head and I just must let my fingers translate them.

The following words popped into my mind "No one can love you more than I do" 
It's a beautiful statement... but it irks me. I would like to say that, but I can't.

Honestly, how can we really know if there is someone out there capable of loving the person that we love, 'more' than we do? It's an absurd assumption, but for the person saying it, it relays a much deeper and indirect message.

"No one can love you more than I do" is of the connotation that the person we love is wrong to try to find love somewhere else... from someone else, since after all, no one can love them more! How can we tell someone that? Why prevent someone from searching for more with the promise that more does not exist? There is fear. There is insecurity. There is emotional misleading (albeit, we may not even be aware).

I think in essence, what we really mean to say... the message we're trying so hard not to lay down bare in front the other is "I cannot love anyone more than I love you". It's not that the person cannot be loved by another, but that we cannot love another as we love them.... and that my friends, is an agonizing prospect. You want no one else because this person has and will always have the best of you.

It also brings with it a bitter sweet sense of solace There's no reason behind it... after all, with love, is there ever really?

Touch your nose. Now can you imagine not being able to do that?

I went to the hospital yesterday for some x-rays and a post-op check up.
Yesterday has been one of the best days of my life thus far!!!

I can barely find words to properly describe this experience. I will start where my day started and digress a bit to the preamble.

I woke up from a dream shortly before 4am and I absentmindedly scratched at something tickling my face... then I became fully alert 'I can touch my face!' ... Yes folks, for the previous 2 days, my right elbow was that iffy that it could not bend beyond a 90 degrees, thus making it impossible to reach my own face/neck/head. Can you imagine what that is like?

For 2 days, I would instinctively reach towards my face to rub my eye, or I would pick up a snack/spoon/fork to put into my mouth, or I would try to sweep some stray hair from across my cheek and each time my hand would stop mid point (with pain as well of course) ... so for 2 days I had to eat with my left hand, hold my phone with my left hand, wash my face with my left hand and attempt the impossible task of brushing my teeth with my left hand. I even had my mom tie my hair into a pony tail because I couldn't.

So back to my 4am waking... I can touch my face!!! I kissed my hand!!! I kissed it with so much love. Thank you soooo much! Just 4 short hours into sleeping and I awake with the pain and stiffness gone! :)

Despite an early start, I arrived at the hospital pretty late (I really should start back driving)... But I didn't mind...

(Forgive me, for I need to stop here... I will continue this later)

PS: This suddenly reminds me of a story I heard once about what it must be like in Hell. People sitting at a table, full of food! A feast!! but their arms are outstretched and unable to reach their mouths... That is pretty torturous imho.

I love today

I had a wonderful day today!!!!
With each step I took, I just beamed with happiness, awe and appreciation :)

The Zahir - Do we really think about it?

My initial reaction was a defense 'what? this man have it backwards!... maybe it got mixed up in translation'


I re-read it, knowing it was intentional. Then oddly enough, the following quote really did strike me & I had to admit to its relevance according to my own experience thus far:

Our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad, supportive faces, when, in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives

Paulo Coelho

The Zahir.

I am not a cynic in the least. I just observe 
.................................................................................................


Finally, another quote...

The all-powerful Zahir seemed to be born with every human being and to gain full strength in childhood, imposing rules that would thereafter always be respected:

People who are different are dangerous; they belong to another tribe; they want our lands and our women.

We must marry, we are authorised to take possession of another person, body and soul.

 We must do jobs we detest because we are part of an organised society, and if everyone did what they wanted to do, the world would come to a standstill.

 We must buy jewellery; it identifies us with our tribe, just as body-piercing identifies those of a different tribe.

 We must be amusing at all times and sneer at those who express their real feelings; it`s dangerous for a tribe to allow its members to show their feelings.

We must at all costs avoid saying “No” because people prefer those who always say “Yes”, and this allows us to survive in hostile teritory.

What other people think is more important than what we feel.

 Never make a fuss, it might attract the attention of an enemy tribe.

 If you behave differently, you will be expelled from the tribe because you could infect others and destroy something that was extremely difficult to organise in the first place.

 We must always consider the look of our new cave, and if we don`t have a clear idea of our own, then we must call in a decorator who will do his best to show others what good taste we have.

We must eat three meals a day, even if we`re not hungry, and when we fail to fit the current ideal of beauty we must fast, even if we`re starving.

We must dress according to the dictates of fashion, make love whether we feel like it or not, kill in the name of out country`s frontiers, wish time away so that retirement comes more quickly, elect politicians, complain about the cost of living, change our hairstyle, criticise anyone who is different, go to a religious service on Sunday, Saturday or Friday, depending on our religion, and there beg forgiveness for our sins and puff ourselves up with pride because we know the truth and despise the other tribe, who worship a false god.

 Our children must follow in our footsteps; after all, we are older and know about the world.

 We must have a university degree even if we never get a job in the area of knowledge  we were forced to study.

We must study things that we will never use, but which someone told us was important to know: algebra, trigonometry, the code of Hammurabi.

We must never make our parents sad, even if this means giving up everything that makes us happy.

 We must play music quietly, talk quietly, weep in private, because I am the all-powerful Zahir, who lays down the rules and determines the distance between railway tracks, the meaning of success, the best way to love, the importance of rewards.

Like I said, it's a realists view... not cynical, just sad, but true

The pdf copy of this book is available here: *click me*

Random book challenge for 2011

Hosted by Life with books <---- go here to enter
This should be fun! :)

Several of you asked if I’d be hosting the Take A Chance Challenge again. At first, I wasn’t sure, but once I started thinking about it, I got all excited.  So here are the details for the 2011 version of the challenge.

Basic Information

• The concept of the challenge is to take chances with your reading by finding books to read in unusual or random ways. I’ve listed 10 different ways to find books below. Feel free to complete at many as you want. However, anyone completing all 10 challenges by December 31, 2011 will be entered in a prize drawing to win a book of their choice from Amazon.

• The challenge will run from January 1, 2011 until December 31, 2011.

• Crossover books from other challenges is fine. You can read books in any format.

• On January 1, 2011, I will post pages for each of the 10 challenges so you can link up your completed posts.

The 2011 Challenges

1: Staff  Member’s Choice: Go to a bookstore or library that has a “Staff Picks” section. Read one of the picks from that section.

2: Loved One’s Choice: Ask a loved one to pick a book for you to read. (If you can convince them to buy it for you, that is even better!)

3: Blogger’s Choice: Find a “Best Books Read” post from a favorite blogger. Read a book from their list.

4: Critic’s Choice: Find a “Best of the Year” list from a magazine, newspaper or professional critic. Read a book from their Top 10 list.

5: Blurb Book: Find a book that has a blurb on it from another author. Read a book by the author that wrote the blurb.

6: Book Seer Pick: Go to The Book Seer and follow the instructions there. Read a book from the list it generates for you.

7: What Should I Read Next Pick : Go to What Should I Read Next and follow the instructions there. Read a book from the list it generates for you.

8: Which Book Pick: Go to Which Book and use the software to generate a list of books. Read a book from that list.

9: LibraryThing Pick: Go to LibraryThing’s Zeitgeist page. Look at the lists for 25 Most Reviewed Books or Top Books and pick a book you’ve never read. Read the book. (Yes … you can click on MORE if you have to.)

10: Pick A Method: Pick a method for finding a book from the choices listed below (used in previous versions of the challenge).

• Random Book Selection. Go to the library. Position yourself in a section such as Fiction, Non-Fiction, Mystery, Children (whatever section you want). Then write down random directions for yourself (for example, third row, second shelf, fifth book from right). Follow your directions and see what book you find. Check that book out of the library, read it and then write about it. (If you prefer, you can do the same at a bookstore and buy the book!)
• Public Spying. Find someone who is reading a book in public. Find out what book they are reading and then read the same book. Write about it.
• Random Bestseller. Go to Random.org and, using the True Random Number Generator, enter the number 1950 for the min. and 2010 for the max. and then hit generate. Then go to this site and find the year that Random.org generated for you and click on it. Then find the bestseller list for the week that would contain your birthday for that year. Choose one of the bestsellers from the list that comes up, read it and write about it.

Wait for me my loves... my dear books

I believe it was the week before Christmas 2010 that I was casually strolling through the isles of Nigel R Khan book store in Gulf. Of course it seemed like a casual stroll, when in reality I was a hyper little bunny who couldn't keep my eager hands off the brand new books which in turn couldn't keep their eyes off me. We have an interesting relationship, books and I.

A fellow patron and myself ended up in conversation where she started recommending books for me. Imagine my eager responses! She was quite passionate about the J.D. Robb series. In addition to never reading a J.D. Robb book, I've never even read a Nora Roberts (both are the same author btw). I found this entire encounter really interesting and very refreshing. It was so nice talking to a random stranger who shared a passion for books as much as I do. There wasn't an ounce of 'boasting' in her tone or vibe, she was genuinely recommending books and talking about them. Even when she reached into her bag and pulled out her iPad (omg she has an iPad) ... she really wanted to show me the books she had stored on it and how awesome it was to read e-books. She even had a kindle! (not on her @ the moment though)

Clearly she was from foreign... so I helped direct her to a spot in the mall where she can get wireless connection and we went our separate ways.

Now a few short weeks later, I find myself actually seriously considering the possibility of purchasing a kindle myself. I remember when it first came out, how amazed and scared I was at the same time. I immediately thought that that was something I could never possibly own. I was also afraid of the idea of using an e-reader and not having the paper books in my hands. But now... the kindle has wireless and I can download books for free! The free-ness, sad to say, is the definitive factor in this change of mind. I think it was the idea of actually buying a book that I couldn't see, hold, smell and cradle in my lap that made me nervous before.

Anyways, I think I will buy one. I have however decided to not be hasty since I have a lot of actual real books sitting on my shelves, waiting to be read. I think the wait would make the gratification even sweeter. Plus I won't feel guilty about my investment by having my un-read books watch me with those sad sad eyes...

2011 has met me half way :)

2009 going into 2010 I set it in my mind that according to my own timing, the following year in Tunks world is gonna consist of 2 years in the Gregorian calender. So this, the beginning of 2011... is but my half way point! 


There is much I can say now about the 1st half of this journey I'm on but I think I will revisit it later. 


For now, just for good measure, I would like to reflect on an entry I shared exactly 4 years ago; the basic sentiments of which I believe still stands:

The clock striked 12...It officially brought in the New Year 2007. It’s amazing that just a concept of numbers, time and expectation of ramifications of the latter, could bring about such a sudden and drastic change in mentality and moods world wide!

Considering the lawlessness and undercurrent of panic that seeps into every family, in every home and into everyone's heart...maybe we need more than 1 declared 'new year' per year. Let's make it a new year every month, or even better, let’s delight in positivity and hopefulness each and every morning! Why not celebrate the rising of the sun every day? Obviously we're not going to drink 'till we can't remember our names and create fog in a Caribbean island with countless Fireworks going off every night...but we can carry that feeling within us, every day. Awake with our daily resolutions, the joy of a new beginning or the improvement of a current endeavor. Out with the pain and regret and grudges... and in with the pure essence of love, happiness and overall peace of mind, in our homes, communities, societies, countries and in the world throughout!

Happy New Day!