Suffocate

I lay on bed last night... freezing cold on an average temperature night. But I couldn't breathe. Every breath was deliberate and labored. In and out...In and out... In...*hold*...out
Gosh Lord, why can't I just breathe?
I tried with my nose, then with my mouth...but I can't fall asleep with my jaw propped open just so I can breathe
I can't breathe!
As my chest constricted, and my body went weak and cold from lack of oxygen something happened to me for the first time on dry land...I started to PANIC for air! I was suffocating, wide awake, in a breezy cold room. Sheer panic... & I realized that this is a terrifying way to die... to suffocate. To not be able to breathe! Terrifying, Painful, dreadful, mortifying! No word describes how that would feel.
I don't ever want to feel that again.
Why couldn't I breathe?
I can't handle that feeling again... It scares me...too much!