Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I need a game theory

Humans are habitual creatures

We get into one regime and stick to it, as long as it satisfied that need for stability and as long as it protects from that fear of the unknown. We take a new path every once in awhile and upon acceptance, we use and abuse every inch of it, far beyond the realms of what another can call appreciation...but to us, it is...and we want more.

My mother has this philosophy that coming closer to the end of vacation, and closer to when school beings once again, that we should start going to bed early, so that we can wake up early. We should start disciplining ourselves back into the regime of school life...despite still being on vacation. With this in mind, I often found myself wondering which path I should choose.

I can start going to bed early, waking up early, not taking naps during the day... or I can make the best of the last few days of academic freedom! Because if you think of it, being prepared or not, the day will come when school starts back. The day will come. It's inevitable. Smoothing into it or jumping right back in is a choice to make. Either way, 1 week or so into it all, we'll be back into the usual regime. Therefore I question, should I sacrifice my last few days of freedom and happiness just for the sake of being able to smoothly flow back into a way of life, despite knowing that that way of life will flow back into me a week or so after?

Now back to the present...am I sacrificing for the greater good or a more painless transition? Is it worth it? Is it worth giving up something I may never have again for a long long longgg time to come, just so I won't have to feel so much pain of loosing it when it does go away? Its going to end either way. It's going to hurt just the same. I don't want to sit with half the pain but with twice as much regret in knowing that 'I should have made the best of it while I can!'

That’s my choice... it's going to hurt either way. I just don't want the regret on top of it all. Life is short love. I'm not reckless, but I intend on appreciating every minute of it...

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