Live for Now

One of the hardest things to do is to live in the now. People may not realize it, but an enormous junk of their daily lives are spent brooding over and analyzing the past, or fantasizing and creating the future. How often do we stop to actually live, now? This topic was first made known to me during a farewell talk with out priest back in Convent. It has since then come up countless times in my own thoughts and occasionally conversations. Recently as well, now that I'm doing Philosophy, 'being aware' is a major aspect of it's teachings. Can you sit still for two minutes and let your senses totally take over? Think about nothing of the past or future...just receive the sensations of the present letting it go in and out and not stop to take hold of it or analyze and store it. It can be the most exhilarating two minutes of your day.

In the wider picture... I realize that very rarely do people actually live and enjoy the present situation for what it is. We live life always wanting to be somewhere else...be it literally or circumstantial. Having goals and dreams are far from bad, it can sometimes be necessary. But how much do we get caught up in these thoughts? Are we actually sacrificing the pleasures of the present all in the hope of gaining our own desired pleasure of the future? A rather blunt example, and the actual instigator for this entry, is that of my overall living position. I've always dreamed of somehow being able to take a year out of my life and do nothing but read and relax... no school work to worry about what so over. Nothing to do but just live for the day. Due to a twist of fate and the hand of God who works in mysterious ways, I've been somewhat granted that wish. However, I've spent months thinking about how all I want is to go back to school... I just want to study again, learn, accomplish academically. I let myself get caught up in this desire and now I've realized that I've sacrificed days and weeks of my own peace of mind from just not choosing to enjoy the present. I'm sure that at one point in the academic world, I'll be wishing for these circumstances all over again.

You need to be aware... recognize and stop certain stimuli before it seduces you. Stop...breathe...and as cliché as it seems, count your blessings!

Our minds are made in such a way that we don't need to process information while we are receiving it... we just need to be open, and just receive! It may not be as gratifying as memorizing a passage from a book for example, but in living in the now, being still and open... that very same information will be made known to you when you need it. It's something of taping into that universal knowledge...that wisdom that has mesmerized people for centuries. It's like I read in Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons" ... you don't need to 'figure out a solution' ... you just need to 'remember' the answer.

A Girl Like Me

I don't normally do this, but I feel compelled to make such an entry as this. It's about this movie I saw "A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story"

Imagine feeling like you're trapped in the wrong body, that there's been some sort of mistake — that you're supposed to be a girl instead of a boy. How would you tell your family and friends that you wanted to change genders? Would you bring it up with someone you had a crush on? And what would you do when society not only refused to accept the new you, but was violent toward you? Well, Eddie Araujo didn't know the answers, but he did know he was supposed to be female, so he began to dress as a girl and changed his name to Gwen.

You won't believe what Gwen endured just to live her life as who she was and feel normal. It's a shocking true story about courage and tolerance, and is sure to stay with you long after the credits roll.

This is a true story folks. Here are some details about the real person...

Gwen Amber Rose Araujo (February 24, 1985 – October 4, 2002, née Edward Araujo, Jr.) was a transgendered teenager who died during or shortly after a savage criminal attack perpetrated by three males. The events leading up to Araujo's death were the subject of a pair of criminal trials in which it was alleged that the attackers were angered by the discovery that Araujo — who, at the time, was living as female — was biologically male. In the most recent trial, two of the defendants were convicted of second-degree murder, but the jury concluded that no hate crime was committed. The circumstances of the case have caused it to become a rallying point for the LGBT community, and a number of underreported and controversial aspects about the case and about Gwen's murder remain points of contention.

To Justify the Unjustifiable

A fellow blogger gave me this idea; to reintroduce some of my favorite entries. The following piece I found very applicable to my life once again and no matter how many times I read it, it always brings new meaning. I hope it does the same for you.

"...The human mind is most amazing considering the ease to which our own fundamental views and values can be twisted, blurred and downright manipulated to validate and justify the decision of any passing action or thought; that upon reflection, gets swept away with yet another passing moment in time... never consciously noted but almost always that sort after instigator for future trials and burdens.

We often stop and wonder... regret. Yet we never indulge any form of machocism to face the truth ... and that is, we have been, still are and always will be the the most active player in any game we find ourselves in...rather, any game we design and build around us."

From: The simplicity of a complicated mind

Connection

People. We go through our lives mingling between the sexes mostly ignoring our natural urge and desire to be with someone. At any arbitrary event; in the grocery, passing strangers on the street, sitting in church...there will always be one of the two around you; either a male or a female. We don't always stop to think at each sighting that 'he/she is a potential mate'. If we did do that, I'm sure all will be shacked up with kids at the onset of puberty. So we move above those animal instincts and evolved into a race of basic discrimination, intent and imagination. But maybe, if you're a girl, every guy you see, every male person you encounter, triggers that natural instinct and vice versa for guys.

There is always something... noticing, observing, an affiliation, an interest, attraction, fondness, a crush, infatuation, an addiction, love, even obsession. It's our sexual interest. Our emotional desire. Our social need. Be it homo/hetro, it matters not... it all boils down to that connection. Any connection. It is our nature. How many tries before the soul finds satisfaction? How many times do we deny it...deny ourselves? We prolong the inevitable. I guess we just have to make sure it's for the right reasons.