Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

And so the story goes...

Here I am, sitting in a not so cold computer lab, on this my last day on campus before being sent home to the loving arms of Christmas vacation...and in saying so, I am not quite sure to what extent sarcasam tinges that statement... but I'm sure it does.

What am I going back to?

In attempting to answer that question, I was forced to stop and take stock of how far away I've drifted from all that I've known and previously associted my life with...

I remember an entry I once made on my now dead website - I find this an ideal time to quote:

"Time passes in moments. Moments which, rushing past us, define the path of a life even as they fix upon its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path. To see the reasons why all things happen. To consider whether the path we have taken is of our own making, or simply one into which we've drifted with eyes closed. But what if we were to stop? To take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we see the endless forks in the roads that shape our lives? And… seeing the choices we've made… choose another path."

I'm afriad.... of facing what I've left behind, having not, in any way, set an atmosphere condusive to the change of attitude and circumstances....It seems that there is and maybe always will be a downside to the shedding of ignorance... Now I crave the capability to abuse knowledge... abuse to such an extent that I can somehow ride on a wave, so high, that I am unaffected by all that I know better off and all that I can so naturally deny.

I linger yet again in the doorway of another time in life... I stand here and question. I question myself. I question my motives. I question others. I question this. I question change and the autenticity of it. I question you.

But then... I know that at the end of the day, time itself will make the doors of entry nonexsistant ... and I shall drift on like any other.