Wow I haven't visited this blog since 2017. It's March 2019 right now.
I have a lot on my mind and I feel as though I need to start back writing. I'm not sure where yet, but I'm doing this here in the interim, I feel like I really really just need to.
I've hit pause on my life. That of course cannot exactly happen, since life goes on with or without me, people grow older, things change, events happen... but in my mind, I've hit pause and stood still in a self imposed prison of anxieties.
Now, reality is catching up to me; responsibilities, feelings left unchecked, decisions unmade... and the funny part about this, is that it scares me into freezing all over again. My anxieties about the things I have to do or face, have left me feeling more anxious and immobilized.
This fear I can feel, writhing in my belly - a prequel to panic. I need to act. I have to.
I have a lot on my mind and I feel as though I need to start back writing. I'm not sure where yet, but I'm doing this here in the interim, I feel like I really really just need to.
I've hit pause on my life. That of course cannot exactly happen, since life goes on with or without me, people grow older, things change, events happen... but in my mind, I've hit pause and stood still in a self imposed prison of anxieties.
Now, reality is catching up to me; responsibilities, feelings left unchecked, decisions unmade... and the funny part about this, is that it scares me into freezing all over again. My anxieties about the things I have to do or face, have left me feeling more anxious and immobilized.
This fear I can feel, writhing in my belly - a prequel to panic. I need to act. I have to.
1 comment:
Good to know. I used to check your blog every year. Glad to know. Chandra
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