Huggup pillow

I am sleeping with your Huggup pillow now ma. It's 645am on a Sunday. I woke up to wee and I walked into your room to check dad. He's sleeping soundly. I wonder how it must feel to sleep alone on the bed for the first time in over 30 years? I miss you so much ma. I am dreaming you more often now. in fact I'm awake now cuz I woke up from a dream with you. I'm back under covers writing this from my itouch. Oh btw, I got my new camera!!! It's pretty amazing and I haven't even checked out 99% of it's features yet. Oh and ma, I'm flaring up really badly lately but I'm trying really hard to manage school through it. I need to do another infusion asap. I love you so much ma! I miss you so hard that it hurts deep inside of me. I miss hugging you up. You know I am a hug addict and you were my number 1 weakness. Mommy... I love you. Please take care of me in whatever way you can. I need you still

Suffer no more

You really suffered Ma... you really went through so much pain and discomfort!

You suffered... tortured in your own body.

But you never stopped loving me. 

To the very end, you held on to me with the last umph of strength you had in your hands. 

To the very end, you held onto me with all the emotion and connection possible. 

You never stopped loving me

I would never stop loving you

I miss you Ma

I want to email you

*breatheeeeeeeee* You know... I intended to email you everyday while I was up in my apt... like the good ole days, cept it woulda been easier cuz I have wifi... Gosh Ma, I didn't expect this :'(

I'm sitting here in my new apartment, spending my very 1st night... and I got no you to call me. Got no you to email me. Got no you to worry about me hoping I'm okie. I got no you to email me

& I have wifi ma! I have wifi :'( 

This hurts so much ... so much!

Break in the banks

Dear Ma
I came here to write to you saying that I'm organizing for my 1st official day back out to school... good old UWI.... but then I saw a video I was tagged in, a tribute to you made by the Sai Youth.
I cried ma... I finally cried. And it felt like just the tip of the iceberg.
Ma...
Anyways, I been up since 4am cuz I gotta reach for 8am... well, daz when my ride has to reach, my actual class isn't till midday. I hope you are seeing all this & watch over me today okie?
I love you
:'(