Let me go

I'm disturbed. It really seriously worries me how narrow minded and oblivious you are to it... and how much control you have and want... and how much impact you've made and continue to make... and how much fear it creates ... and how much it HOLDS ME DOWN

"Love is trusting, love is honest, love is not that hand that holds you down"

Junkie

In an almost 11hr long flight from Trinidad to India, I finally saw the movie for one of my favorite books ever 'Eat Pray Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert... I was reminded of this quote which struck me then when I read it and now that I've seen the movie. I quote below:  



"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted—an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore—despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have that thing even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination—the complete and merciless devaluation of self."

Distance

What's more depressing than the overall vibe of that adventure, is coming home to feel just as depressed as I was before :-\ I'm almost angry at myself.

"Distance to love is like wind to a flame; it extinguishes the small and ignites the great"

Shhh in India

I am in Delhi... for a few more hours.
There is so much I can say about this. So much I can say about this entire trip thus far. So much...
But very little. Because half of what I think I will probably not say.
And you... where are you? Right there. There...