The Hurt - The Anger

Where does this rage come from?
Where does the need to hate the ones we love
come from?
Sometimes we just want to reach out & hold them in our arms
& strangle them slowly, watching them squirm & writhe in silent pain!

The following is an excerpt of a conversation instigated by the above piece of writing:

Friend says:
hmmmm
Interesting
sure that felt good to get it out huh?

Tunks says:
i felt really guilty reading it after
& guilty even writing it
but it did feel good getting it out

Friend says:
why....
u know i kinda realise sometimes we jus need to feel the anger...the hate..and den most of the times its sadness underneath it all
and we jus need to get it out

Tunks says:
YEP!
'in order to get over something, u need to get tro it first'
it applies to anger as well
sometimes I jus need to really feel it!, cuz if i pretend that im not, or out of guilt supress it, then it becomes just that... supressed
& almost ALWAYS, at the bottom of it all - is hurt
...hurt from being disappointed, feeling foolish, having expectations not met, feeling underminded or disrespected
once a feeling of anger arises - its almost always because of hurt
...even if u've hurt urself

Sometimes...only sometimes

....Trauma. Pain. Abuse. Neglect. Loss. Illness. Grief....

Sometimes we become satisfied that the causal relationship exonerates us from any further responsibility or culpability.

Sometimes it explains everything.

Sometimes it excuses & relieves us of the responsibility for the ramifications & other damages that we do to ourselves & others.

Sometimes it's just too real.

But it's only sometimes. We choose to fill the spaces & make them wider, fuller & less frequent. We choose to recognize & recover.

We choose.

Possibility vs Certainty

This is one of my favorite quote from a book I read called 'Brick Lane' by Monica Ali

'Anything is possible, so everything I wanted was possible,but what about all the other possibilities? The ones we never see when we are young, but are there all along. One day you wake up and say to yourself, I didn't choose this. And then you spend a long time thinking, but did I?'.... 'The thing about getting older, is that you don't need everything to be possible anymore, you just need some things to be certain.'

I really love this quote!

Thanks Mr. Shakespeare

I found this and fell in love! :) Please, take a read - I find it so interesting finding these origins

Here is a whole list of clichés, along with where they originated curtesy Mr. Shakespeare!

A fool's paradise—Romeo and Juliet

A foregone conclusion—Othello

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse! —Richard III

A little pot and soon hot—The Taming of the Shrew

A tower of strength—Richard III

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him—Hamlet

All the world's a stage—As You Like It

An eye-sore—The Taming of the Shrew

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods—King Lear

As white as driven snow—The Winter's Tale

Ay, there’s the rub—Hamlet

Bag and baggage—As You Like It

Bated breath—The Merchant of Venice

Beware the Ides of March—Julius Caesar

Blow, blow, thou winter wind—As You Like It

Breathe one’s last—Henry VI, part 3

Brevity is the soul of wit—Hamlet

Budge an inch—The Taming of the Shrew

Cold comfort—King John

Come full circle—King Lear

Come what may—Macbeth

Conscience does make cowards of us all—Hamlet

Cowards die many times before their deaths—Julius Caesar

Crack of doom—Macbeth

Dead as a doornail—Henry VI, part 2

Death by inches—Coriolanus

Devil incarnate—Henry V

Dish fit for the gods—Julius Caesar

Dog will have its day—Hamlet

Done to death—Much Ado About Nothing

Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble—Macbeth

Eaten me out of house and home—Henry IV, part 2

Elbow room— King John

Et tu, Brute! –Julius Caesar

Every inch a king—King Lear

Fair is foul, and foul is fair—Macbeth

Fatal vision—Macbeth

Flaming youth—Hamlet

For goodness sake—Henry VIII

Foregone conclusion—Othello

Frailty, thy name is woman—Hamlet

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears—Julius Caesar

Full of sound and fury—Macbeth

Get thee to a nunnery—Hamlet

Give the devil his due—Henry IV

Good night, ladies—Hamlet

Good riddance—Troilus and Cressida

Green-eyed monster—Othello

Halcyon days—Henry VI ****

Her infinite variety—Antony and Cleopatra

Hoist with his own petard—Hamlet

Hold a candle to—The Merchant of Venice

Household words—Henry V

I am fortune's fool—Romeo and Juliet

I have immortal longings in me—Antony and Cleopatra

I have not slept one wink—Cymbeline

In my heart of hearts—Hamlet

In my mind's eye—Hamlet

Into thin air—The Tempest

It smells to heaven—Hamlet

It was Greek to me—Julius Caesar

It's a wise father that knows his own child—The Merchant of Venice

Kill ... with kindness—The Taming of the Shrew

Knock, knock! Who’s there? —Macbeth

Laughing-stock—The Merry Wives of Windsor

Lean and hungry look—Julius Caesar

Lend me your ears—Julius Caesar

Let slip the dogs of war—Julius Caesar

Lord, what fools these mortals be!—A Midsummer Night's Dream

Love is blind—The Merchant of Venice

Merry as the day is long—Much Ado About Nothing

Milk of human kindness—Macbeth

More fool you—The Taming of the Shrew

More in sorrow than in anger—Hamlet

More sinned against than sinning—King Lear

Murder most foul—Hamlet

My own flesh and blood—The Merchant of Venice

My salad days, when I was green in judgment—Antony and Cleopatra

Neither a borrower nor a lender be—Hamlet

Not a mouse stirring—Hamlet

Now gods stand up for bastards—King Lear

Now is the winter of our discontent—Richard III

O, Brave new world—The Tempest

Once more unto the breach—Henry V

One fell swoop—Macbeth

One that loved not wisely, but too well—Othello

Out, damned spot!—Macbeth

Out, out, brief candle—Macbeth

Paint the lily—King John

Paint the lily—King John

Parting is such sweet sorrow—Romeo and Juliet

Play fast and loose—Love's Labour's Lost

Pomp and Circumstance—Othello

Primrose path—Hamlet

Put out the light—Othello

Sharper than a serpent’s tooth—King Lear

Short and the Long of It—Merry Wives of Windsor

Short shrift—Richard III

Smooth runs the water where the brook is deep—Henry VI, Part II

Something in the wind—The Comedy of Errors

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark—Hamlet

Sorry sight—Macbeth

Spotless reputation—Richard III

Star-crossed lovers—Romeo and Juliet

Stony-hearted villains—Henry IV, part 1

Stood on ceremonies—Julius Caesar

Strange bedfellows—The Tempest

Suit the action to the word—Hamlet

Sweets to the sweet—Hamlet

The be-all and the end-all—Macbeth

The better part of valour is discretion—Henry IV, part 1

The course of true love never did run smooth—A Midsummer Night's Dream

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose—The Merchant of Venice

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers—Henry VI, part 2

The game is afoot—Henry IV, part 1

The game is up—Cymbeline

The naked truth—Love's Labour's Lost

The play’s the thing—Hamlet

The quality of mercy is not strained—The Merchant of Venice

The lady doth protest too much, methinks—Hamlet

The readiness is all—Hamlet

The rest is silence—Hamlet

The time is out of joint—Hamlet

The working day world—As You Like It

The world's mine oyster—The Merry Wives of Windsor

There is a tide in the affairs of men—Julius Caesar

There’s a divinity that shapes our ends—Hamlet

They say an old man is twice a child—Hamlet

This was the noblest Roman of them all—Julius Caesar

Though this be madness, yet there is method in't—Hamlet

Throw cold water on it—The Merry Wives of Windsor

Till the crack of doom—Macbeth

'Tis neither here nor there—--Othello

To be, or not to be: that is the question—Hamlet

To make a virtue of necessity—The Two Gentlemen of Verona

To the manner born—Hamlet

To thine own self be true—Hamlet

Too much of a good thing—As You Like It

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown—Henry IV, part 2

Unkindest cut of all—--Julius Caesar

Unsex me here—Macbeth

We are such stuff as dreams are made on--The Tempest

We have seen better days—As You Like It

Wear my heart on my sleeve—Othello

What a piece of work is a man—Hamlet

What the dickens—The Merry Wives of Windsor

What’s done is done—Macbeth

What's in a name?—Romeo and Juliet

What's past is prologue—The Tempest

When shall we three meet again? –Macbeth

Finding Freedom In No

From personal experience, I know how hard it is to say 'no' sometimes. I always associated the word 'No' with negativity an selfishness. Actually it was one of the best pieces of advice I recieved awhile ago 'Learn to say no, be good to you, sometimes it's okie to seem a little selfish' ... and that was the hardest thing to do...and I'm guessing it's so for a lot of you out there. I feared saying No and having to disappoint someone, and I still do... but I keep in mind that if I can't look out for and be good to myself first, how can I expect to truly be there for others?

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice.

When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.

There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes almost always has a cost, you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for the appeal before you.

Now re-read this last paragraph...

Mapping The Inner Journey

Journaling As Meditation

Of the countless forms of meditation we can use, journaling offers its own unique benefits. Most meditations help empty the mind of concerns and bring positive ideas from our mental landscape, but journaling helps us anchor that experience in the material world. Not every person is attracted to meditating in seated silence, and journal meditation is a nice alternative as an active meditation. It allows us to trace our journey and see where we have grown and what lessons we may be repeating. By employing a different part of the brain than creative or inspired thought, writing or typing a journal can create a greater sense of connection and union with our physical selves and the world around us.

In working through challenges, it can be helpful to first empty all worries from our heads onto the safe pages of our journal. Fears can be brought to light rather than allowing them to haunt the dark corners of our subconscious. We may even feel heaviness dissipate once our heads are free from clutter, leaving space for inspiration and the creation of positive images in their place. Often in the process of writing out all the details of an event that troubles us, something that had been forgotten will come to the surface, providing a missing piece of the puzzle. Then we can truly begin to come up with answers, and write them down beside the worries to map the way from concern to constructive thought.

For capturing guidance and flashes of inspiration, journaling is ideal. This is especially true in the case of dreams, which often fade as we awaken. While working toward goals, keeping track of progress as well as guidance from readings or divination tools can be encouraging. Though it can be difficult to keep all of our guidance in the front of our minds, if we write it down it can serve as a reminder whenever we need it. We can also use our journals to converse with our higher selves or even the universe. Journaling offers yet another way to unburden mind and spirit, while also creating a record of the present and preserving our hopes and dreams for the future.

Daily Om Article: November 22, 2006


Keeping A Diary With Purpose

A diary can play many roles. It can be a confidant, a vehicle of self expression, a tool that facilitates clarity of thought, or a repository of dreams. A diary can also be a powerful source of comfort during challenging or traumatic periods. When you record those insights and incidents that clearly demonstrate you are on the right track, you can return to your words days, weeks, or months later and find uniquely soothing reassurance. A diary with a specific purpose can be a good tool for keeping track of experiences before the passage of time can skew your perception of events. It reflects the immediacy of your life and thus provides you with a landmark to return to when you begin to doubt yourself. If doubt does arise, simply open your diary to reaffirm your experiences. The confidence, surety, passion, and bravery you felt in a single moment is preserved, giving you a means to recapture those feelings in any place, at any time.

Your diary serves as a repository of personalized encouragement. Since a diary is, by its very nature, as individual as you are, you should give some thought to the type of diary that will serve you best. A synchronicity-and-connections diary might describe those instances where seemingly random occurrences came together in a meaningful way, propelling you forward. Or you may find strength in the pages of a pride diary that makes note not only of those times you felt proud of yourself but also precisely why you were pleased with your efforts. And a cause-and-effect diary can help you become more decisive by reminding you of all the wise, life-affirming choices you have made. Your diary should be small enough to be readily portable and on hand whenever possible because the faster you put your thoughts down on paper, the more authentic your declarations are apt to be.

Regardless of the type of focused diary you choose to keep, your recollections will create a positive feedback loop that helps you cope with doubt in a constructive way. Reading through your diary when life seems uncertain can show you that your misgivings are unfounded. As you draw consolation from your uplifting words, you will know without a doubt that you are indeed living your purpose and following the path that you committed to before birth.

Daily Om Article: November 15, 2006

Being Twenty Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe you can love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

----

I got this in an email and decided to check it out online to find the original source. Seems that this piece of writing has passed from blog to blog and website to website as we young people felt urged to post it and pass it along. And now, I find myself doing the same... But in my books, upon reflection, these are really the best years of our lives... it's all in how you make it (even in your head).

My Reminder

I felt terribly confused and conflicted and I really didn't like feeling that way. It leads to hurt, anger and resentment. I then thought about an entry I once posted about 'typical irrational beliefs' because one or two of the statements were applying to me at the moment... if only I can find it, read it and remind myself once again. As I came online, I decided to just click back into my archives for October 2005... just to see what was up in the mind of Tunks exactly a year from now. And there it was!!! The very same entry that had crossed my mind last night and the only entry made on that Month. But I know why...

I would like to re-post it, both for myself and anyone who may need to read it once again.

TYPICAL IRRATIONAL BELIEFS

We must be loved by everyone and everyone must approve of everything we do.

We must be thoroughly competent, adequate, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects.

Certain acts are wrong or wicked or villainous, and people who perform them should be severely punished.

It is a terrible catastrophe when things are not as we would like them to be.

Unhappiness is the result of external events and happenings that are focused on us and that we have no control over.

We should be greatly concerned about dangerous and fearful things and must center our thinking on them until the danger has passed.

It is easier to avoid difficulties and responsibilities in life than to face them.

We need someone or something stronger than ourselves to rely on.

Because something greatly influenced us in the past, it must determine our present behavior: the influence of the past cannot be overcome.

What other people do is vitally important to us, and we should make every effort to change them to be the way we think they should be.

There is one perfect solution to every problem, and if it is not found, the results will be terrible.

One has virtually no control over her emotions; she is their victim and cannot help how she feels.