Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Swoon

I woke up to the vague sound of knocking... I thought for a moment, maybe wishfully that it was just a dream.
More knocking and a voice... then silence. 
I opened my eyes and lay there waiting for the ceiling to stop moving, for the walls to stop merging at the corners  and the bed to stop spinning
Wow... I'm typing this and I'm swooning... I feel like my chair is on a raft, lulling off into the wide open sea... 


10 hours into landing in Bangalore, India... what the yam going on? lol I'm on a private high!

Friday, February 18, 2011

I'm sorry...♥

I've just finished working on the 8th Bi-annual West Indian Newsletter ...
I've been sitting here for the last 8 hours...
As I finally shift off autopilot... this song starts playing
I'm reduced to tears :'( ... (It's over - I love you)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Now I know



Except from Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss


"I believed it concerned the fear of death, which is the fear
deep within the volcano. The fear of death, that hidden, constant fear
that no amount of money or power can neutralize-this is the core. But
if people knew that "life is endless; so we never die; we were never
really born," then this fear would dissolve. If they knew that they had
lived countless times before and would live countless times again,
how reassured they would feel. If they knew that spirits were around
to help them while they were in physical state and that after death,
in spiritual state, they would join these spirits, including their
deceased loved ones, how comforted they would be. If they knew
that guardian "angels" really did exist, how much safer they would
feel. If they knew that acts of violence and injustices against people
did not go unnoted, but had to be repaid in kind in other lifetimes,
how much less anger and desire for vengeance they would harbor.
And if indeed, "by knowledge we approach God," of what use are
material possessions, or power, when they are an end in themselves 
and not a means to that approach? To be greedy or power-hungry 
has no value whatsoever.
But how to reach people with this knowledge?"

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Captain Carnavel - Be A Pilot!

If my life were a story, I would tell it at night

I've always been nocturnal. I think it is one of the few things I knew for sure from very young, i.e, I can not only easily stay awake late at nights, but I liked to. What I did not know, was that it was 'unnatural' or frowned upon... until one day in school when I was about 11yo, my teacher had asked the entire class what time they normally went to bed, or something along those lines. I remember everyone answering in unison, all blurting their responses with eagerness befitting our age and I remember my answer being 11pm. My teacher then expressed unmasked shock and disapproval at what was apparently a very late hour to be going to bed. Maybe I knew before, or maybe I didn't, but that was the first real moment that I become painfully aware that 'maybe the night thing really isn't that normal after all'.

Nowadays, that is prolly normal.
But this was the 90's... the internet and cell phone age hadn't graced my house as yet and we didn't have cable t.v. ... What was I doing up that late anyway? 
Reading most likely

Anyways, as I entered my teenage years, I remember keeping a 'sleep log'. It was a legal sized lined sheet, stuck to my wall by the light switch with 3 columns drawn up. One for the date, one the time I went to sleep and the last for the time I woke up. Suffice to say, the hours I ended my day with were always of the a.m variety ... despite having to wake up to go to school at a normal expected time. I found it interesting... noting my patterns. Right now I cannot remember why I did that, or what I eventually learned from it. I just liked the structure, the documentation and the statistical view of things. I guess that's something I never grew out of... prolly never will.

There is no point to this entry really, other than the fact that its 2:30am... another a.m. hour of the night and I chose to think and type rather than sleep...